blessings...count 'em...

So the past two weeks have been quite intense. Filled with all kinds of experiences. I have been struggling to stay awake the past two weeks, literally, I feel like I am not really awake. Strange feeling. Anyways. I guess I could talk about the past two weeks but one thing that really was something that brought me to tears for the first time since I've been here is something that also helped me to count my blessings ten-fold. My 3rd and 4th grade P.E. class started out the same as usual, some bickering but nothing really to call home for. However, at one point one of the boys and one of the girls started to get into a heated argument. Once again, I thought nothing of it and broke it up. Meanwhile while I was getting the game back into play, a couple kids slipped out of my eyesight. Me being so insistent that the game continue at a civilized pace, I was shocked to hear that the three little ones ran off to the playground. So I paused the game, walked over and they quickly jumped off their swings/other playground equipment and realized that they were not in the proper place. I asked them why they were playing on the playground, and then proceeded to tell them that I need them playing the game so that they do not lose points. I solved the issue and then realized little Kaitlyn still hanging around on the glider. Kaitlyn is such a sweet little innocent girl. EVERYDAY without fail, she will find me and say "excuse me Miss Ari, I haven't had my daily hug!" demanding it, hands on the hips and everything, with a HUGE cheeky grin. Without hesitation, and happily I will give her a hug. She likes to cling a little bit and I found out that she can be a bit clingy sometimes, mainly since last year when her parents went through a "nasty" divorce, I was told she can be this way sometimes. She is VERY smart, and beyond tough, she'll take a dodgeball to the face anyday, and walk away without a single tear. It is a big deal because she is the tiniest third grader I've seen but she surely can hold her own more than most of my older students. If anything she'll pick a fight with the kicker. She is the only one in the class I have not seen cry yet. Tough one. Anyways, I've grown somewhat closer to Kaitlyn since she goes to the church I've been attending and sometimes she'll ask for me and I make sure I find my little Kaitlyn. So back to the playground, as I was walking to the playground, one of Kaitlyn's friends, Kayli (who was also one of the sneaky ones to make it to the playground) runs up to me and tells me that Kaitlyn is calling herself  "dumb" "stupid" "ugly" "wimpy." Automatically it set off a red flag for me. All of these things she is most definitely not. NONE of my students are. And for me to hear that, it tore me up a bit inside before I even approached her. I sent Kayli back to the game, and approached Kaitlyn who was climbing on the glider. I picked her up and just held her for a bit, and she tells me "Miss Ari, you know, once you pick me up, you can't get me to let go" jokingly I said "ok Kaitlyn, but I still have to teach, so you can hold my hand ok?" She said ok and we walked back to the game where everyone was at. My heart was burning to ask her if she truly did say the things Kayli told me she did. I asked her "Kaitlyn, what were you saying about yourself back there?" She said, "I'm ugly, and stuuuuppppiiiid, and duuummbb, and wiiiimmmpppyyy," by now I had already had tears in my throat. She kept saying all these things and I stopped her and asked, "Kaitlyn? Do you really think that of yourself?" She replied, "yes, everyday. I'm no good at life." This is coming from a little girl who is always happy and smiling and is so full of life, it would be difficult as a P.E. teacher to find something that she wouldn't like, or wouldn't mind doing. I asked her, knowing excactly what her response would be, "Kaitlyn, does somebody tell you those things?" Kaitlyn, "yes, my daddy tells me that everyday. He says I'm the stupidest little girl in the world, I'm the only stupid little girl in the world." That just about killed me. I asked "Kaitlyn, do you know that you are soooo smart, and sooo fun, and verry pretty, and sweet?" She said, "no." So I replied, "wwwweeelll, I think you are, see everyone here thinks you are, every day they cheer you on. You're always helping people and having fun in P.E. and in class. I love how you are always willing to play and giving hugs to people...." I could write everything, but I don't remember everything I said. I just tried to encourage her as much as possible in that moment while it was there. I finished up P.E. and had to have a moment in my little P.E. closet. I was a bit distraught at how a dad could call his little girl all those terrible things. I know there are plenty of stories that may seem even more intense, but to me this was my first incident like this and I can honestly say it hit me a bit hard. All I could think of is how lucky I was to have a dad...or mom for that matter that has once, if ever said anything remote to those things and I know would never. An innocent, cute child like her has now been verbally beat down and she now will have that imprinted on her brain from now on. It is sad. But it helped me to count my blessings. So many times my parents could have called me stupid or one of those things, they could have but never have. On the grand scale of things, my own Heavenly Father could just squish me for doing something stupid, but I'm blessed. As is Kaitlyn. I just hope I can reach out to her or anyone else for that matter and help them to know that He loves them, all the time and does not hate us, and thinks the world of us. He sent His son for a reason. There is my event for the week. On a happy note of things.

The principal, my boss, took Suzi and I out to eat for dinner tonight and we had a fantastic time. I had the best salad of my life and I'm sure they other three did as well.

I miss my family and friends. But, I know I'm here for a reason :)

Isaac, Kristy, Kayli, Kaitlyn...and me tutoring after school :)

LOVE LOVE LOVE...the world needs an abundance more of it....if only.

Paradise...

Where am I? What am I doing here? I've been asking myself that a lot lately. But mostly, the one question that has been burning in me is, who am I? I don't know why all of a sudden these thoughts have begun to pop into my head. All I know is that I have only been here for a just over a month and honestly it has to be the icing on the cake for the past 9ish months of my life. As if the past 9ish months haven't already been crazy enough.
Today...well today was a bit rough...but after I realized that God can pull me through anything and that He's always there, I felt a burden lifted. I can only hold my emotions in for so long, sooner or later a tear has to fall. It isn't that it is terrible here, it isn't that I'm sad either. I just think that maybe its a part of growing up and realizing that I can't do everything and that I am only one person. BUT. I also am realizing that all of my frustrations and trials thus far are only self inflicted. I just have to be willing to accept wisdom and understanding from Him and those around me and know that He can bring me through it all.
I love all of the students here. They may have their little quirks and whatnot, some may not listen immediately, but they do have a zest for life that I am slowly recognizing as a type of energy boost for me. The smiles, the tears, the owies and the giggles, all of it is teaching me to look at the little things in life. A word of encouragement or a compliment goes a long way, a wipe of a tear or a little hug can be even more powerful. A little prayer here and there, lets God know that I want that relationship with Him at any point of my day whether it is just waiting inbetween classes or serving lunch, whatever or whenever it is I want Him to know I am thinking of Him throughout my day.
I think today it hit me that my SELF has been quite damaging to the first part of my experience. But, I recognized that letting God be the focal point of my life, of my daily business is only going to help me. I've gotten quite frustrated, I feel drained at times, but I realized that maybe the way I'VE been going about things has been wrong. As a matter of fact, it has.
Thoughts have crossed my mind lately about the past, about the present, and who I am. I am here in Hawaii, in PARADISE. The loving family I have been welcomed with has only made my experience that much more pleasant. Suzi and I go out every weekend to discover new parts of the island and all of God's beautiful creation. From hikes to watching the sunset on the beach, I've realized that my GOD is an awesome God. Not that I never realized that before whether I was in Collegedale or home, but being here has put things into perspective for me in the sense that my eyes are open to all the different things God has placed on this earth from one location to the next. However, being in these beautiful places does not help me to forget reality and what really presses on my mind. I've realized that being here does not make a difference from me being home or at school. Just because I am in PARADISE does not mean that I, Arielle Hall, am in every sense of my being IN PARADISE.
Paradise is in the mind.
I am what I make of this experience.
I am what God makes of me.
I don't want to be what my SELF...my ignorant SELF, makes of me.
God made me.
I need to surrender - to let go to let God be the captain of now, tomorrow, and on.

-Ari

lessons learned...

Wow, it's officially been one week since I've started classes and already I'm learning the little ins and outs of becoming an effective teacher. It is tough to say the least but most certainly rewarding in many little ways. From tying shoe laces, bandaging boo boo's, to teaching the proper way to shoot a basketball, this week has been full of lessons. Some things I've learned are to not make promises to play kickball when you doubt the students will even remember the promise. Trust me. They do not forget promises. God truly has little quaint ways of showing me that I have quite a bit to work on. I have a wonderful support system here though, it is like one big family, everyone is looking out for each other. It is a feeling I can't describe. Christ's love is ever so blatant through the faculty and their genuine desire for Susi and I to have just a big of an impact on the students as they have. I love it here. Yes, I know it has only been two weeks, but my attitude has been consistent, and I'm praying for God's guidance throughout this journey. I'll be honest, the kids do test my patience throughout the day, but if there is one thing I have learned is that I have little patience, and that is something that I can work on for sure. I'm far from perfect. Anyone who truly knows me, knows that. This year, however, will shape me into the young woman God intends. Anyways, I love the kids here. They are beautiful inside and out. Some may be a bit rowdy, some may be very reserved and quiet, but past their initial shells, they all seem to have a genuinely innocent composure to others and the desire to have everyone happy. I think that is amazing. Today, I was teaching 3/4 P.E. In this class is a boy named Corey. Corey, is a different child yet at the same time, I've noticed to be quite knowledgeable about various random subjects he's interested. But, Corey does not understand the meaning of no talking back. He always has to have the last word or has to just continue talking. I've learned he loves hopscotch ...oh and WITH A ROCK. (He gives those he asks about hopscotch a question whether they like playing it with a rock or a leaf). :P This whole week though, I have made the assumption that Corey has a type of behavior disorder seeing how his parents and teacher treat him compared to the other students. BUT, today I decided to go against the rules and find it out for myself. So, today was soccer day. Every one chose a partner, and Corey had one too, but before I knew it he ran off to the restroom and his partner found someone else. Therefore, Corey was left without a partner. I got the rest of the kids set up and in action and by the time Corey returned, I decided to partner with him. "Corey, lets kick!" I said. He proceeded to tell me that he'd rather be playing hopscotch. I didn't ignore him but as a responce to his hopscotch request, I kicked the ball to him, thinking it'd go past. NOT SO MUCH! The kid pulled a total Beckham on me! He trapped the ball, juggled it um maybe 5 times, and passed it perfectly back! To say I was in shock is an utter understatement. So I asked Corey, "do you play soccer at home?" He said no he's never kicked a ball before, but he liked watching the world cup this summer. I put two and two together and found myself completely behooved by Corey. Another incident to cover the lessons I've learned this week. I was tutoring in 2nd grade after school one day this week with two students with dyslexia. I can honestly say that this was my favorite part of the week. I loved it. One student, Tyler, is the funnest kid alive. He is extremely smart and loves attention. The latter I've found can be a bit complicated when it comes to teaching him how to pronounce his "ae's, ch's, mb's" and whatnot, mainly because he did not focus. BUT, I realized that all he needed was the one-on-one close attention and encouragement. He had it. I was so proud of him! The little lessons this week have taught me all kinds of patience. I love how God works through my life in the simplest of ways. The small mannerisms of a student can truly change a teachers heart. This week my one of my prayers will most definitely be to have God take the lead in my life and my teaching of the kids. He taught me the ultimate lesson to love. The least I can do is pass it on to a child and show them patience that God shows me everyday, every moment of my life. That's the least I can do.
Well, this weekend I am going camping with the church, I'm looking forward to it most definitely. I will update soon I promise! :)
Much love,
Ari

up till now...

So the apartment is quite homey. I like it. At first I walked in and was hit with a kind of humidity I've never felt before. Sticky and muggy! But, I quickly told myself to get over it. My hair...thats a different story. Mr. Mooy took us out to California Pizza Kitchen, one of my favorite restaurants. And over the next couple days, we were given tours around the island so we could see the different beaches/mountains/inactive volcanoes. This place is beautiful. I've fallen in love with it immediately. The people here are very kind and loving. And yes, the Hawaii mentality of "take it easy" is true. The cashier at the supermarket proved that for me. On friday evening, a group from one of the local churches gets together to go to the marina to watch fireworks. Every friday night in the summer this occurs. Sabbath morning, I grabbed my violin and headed off to church where I joined a quartet that actually plans to play this coming sabbath and sunday for two funerals. Interesting, yes. Church was surely an experience in and of itself. We went to the Japanese American SDA church here on the island. Sabbath school was very insightful. It really made me think about why I do the things I do and believe differently than the next person. Praise and worship was almost the most uplifting thing I've experienced and I truly felt the presence of God while the ukelele was playing some of my favorite songs. After church we were asked if we wanted to join the choir. Of course, me being me, I said yes immediately without thinking about the other 5000 things I have going on. But, I dont regret it for a minute. So, I said yes, and the director said "ok, GREAT, alto's here, sopranoes there, tenors over there." I took a second or two to grasp what just happened. Yes, choir was starting at that moment! So, the selfish/hungry part of me was thinking, "what about potluck." Just as the thought crossed my mind, no sooner said than done the director said "oh and, no worries, they start potluck late." So I happily sat down. Sung my heart out. And enjoyed every moment of it. We then all separated our own ways to potluck or wherever. Potluck was lovely. Susi and I made a few friends here which was nice being able to get to know some of the locals. I was then called to the violin group. I hadn't really picked up my violin much to play since my senior year of high school so I was quite nervous when I picked up my bow and violin to play. God truly took away any worry I had, because once I started playing, I felt like I had never stopped before. At that moment, I realized it would be a sin to waste the talent He gave me 16 years ago. Strangely, that is something my parents have been telling me for YEARS. After violin, me, Susi, and a couple friends we met at church went to the beach across town. There really is nothing like a sabbath afternoon in the sun with the breeze, relaxing and reflecting on the blessing to have this day we call SABBATH. We eventually returned home, changed and met up with the other taskforce workers working at the high school for ice cream. It was a great ending to an even greater day. As for sunday, that was probably one of my busier days. The night before Susana and I pretty much swore we would not wake up till 10. Not so much, we were up at 7, ready for the day. So we walked to Jamba Juice, my first experience. I'll give it an A++. :) I'm sure they'll be seeing more of us. Then we went to Ross to buy beach towels, then off to the beach we went. Or I should say, off to the beach to get burned. That lasted all of 30 minutes before we realized we needed to get back and get ready for snorkeling later on in the day. We got back to the apartment with enough time to change again, and we drove the long way to the North Shore, sharks cove where we went to snorkel. This had to have been the highlight of my year most definitely. God truly is the master artist. From the parrot fish to the urchin to the random waves of the reef, the awe I was in could not ever be explained. It was amazing to say the very very least. But there always seems to be a down for every up. Susi and I came back with raw backs from sunburn. The Hawaiian rays truly get to the skin. We decided that very moment, we did not want to look like old raisins. Now sunscreen is the best friend ever. Monday came around and it was down to business. Till yesterday we filed, cleaned, made calls, ran errands, in all, we prepared for the upcoming year of school at HMA. In one short week the staff seems to be much like a family. Everyone only wants the best for the students. Anything less, is unacceptable. Through all of this we found time to train. It has been a tough week but God has truly been leading the whole way. I know this upcoming school year has plenty of ups and downs but I think I'm ready...but God KNOWS if that is true or not. Susi and I have really gotten to know each other and it has been great having someone here because Lord only knows how lonely it can be here. You can be in paradise physically, but if you are not there in the mind, "paradise" isn't very different from your problems themselves.Today is my first day at school! The past week Susi and I have been preparing for this day. It is only a half day but wow, what a joy it was to see the little ones walk onto campus. I have been helping Mr. Mooy most of the morning, with short spurts of helping teachers and forming my lessons for the next couple weeks. I have noticed, now more than ever, that the expression that we wear on our faces really can make a difference in how you are approached. At one point in time today I was walking across campus focused on getting back into the office when Auntie Penny said "Hello Arielle!" I was completely caught off guard because I did not see her. But when I turned around my face lit up. She proceeded to ask how I was doing and had a concerned look on her face when she asked if everything was ok. I asked why and she said I looked a bit stressed and down about something. I nonchalantly blew it off saying that I was fine I was just focused on getting back to the office. As I was walking away, I realized how much of an affect my facial expressions(or lack thereof), can really make a difference in how I am approached. Shortly thereafter, I was walking back across campus while all the other students were at recess when Maekyla said "Hi Miss Ari!" I had seen them playing 4 square and she immediately asked if I wanted to join. I had to politely and regretfully decline, but I thought back to the previous incident and thought, what really made the difference in this little girl's approach to me as opposed to Auntie Penny. One big thing, but simpler than most, A SMILE. It has been a rough week so far but God has definitely pulled me through, the day isn't nearly over, but I am glad to have made it this far. Tomorrow will be a great day :) I'm sure. So I've written a book. I'll post something shorter next time. I promise. :)

<3

left on a jetplane...

So right now I'm in the Seattle International Airport. My flight left at 10:50 this morning and it already been an experience. It started off from last night where my parents and I thought we were going to have to pay an extra $125 for my baggage. Till around 8 we were packing and finding different ways to lighten the load. I'd say it was a miracle that we managed to get the necessaries in the bags. This morning we went to the check-in counter and used a test scale to see how heavy each bag was. All three were over 50. I packed text books for work so thats what made things more difficult. So again, we shifted things around to make things lighter, and it worked with the exception that I had to leave a couple pairs of pants and shoes behind and one bag over a pound. We then walked up to the baggage check-in counter and I let my dad take care of the baggage. We started talking to the clerk and she was very nice and interested in where I was headed. We already knew going into the airport that we'd have to pay for the third luggage. However, she believed in what I was going to be doing and very kindly waived the $125 fee for the third bag and completely disregarded the other overweight bag. I feel that this was one blessing of many to come. Then out of the blue, she whispers to my dad if he and my mom would like to walk me to the gate. WOW. That really was the icing on the cake. I was already a bit sad knowing that I'd have to leave them much sooner than when I'd get to gate. But the fact that she let them walk with me was the nicest thing. After arriving at the gate, we said our last goodbyes. It was quite an emotional rush. I'll be honest and say it took me a good half hour to completely stop the tears :( but it was a bittersweet goodbye. I love my family very much. That's all I have to say.
The plane flight wasn't too bad, but I started to get a bit restless just because it was long. Then about the last hour, the lady next to me and I started talking. She told me she and her husband (who was sitting next to her) were pastors in Melbourne, Fl; a place I used to live when I was a kid. We had a great conversation to say the very least and I feel that that short amount of time we spoke really gave me a spiritual boost for what is to come in the coming months.
Otherwise. My flight today officially marks the end of my summer 2010. What an experience it has been. Full of super ups and major major downs. But on a positive side of things, I have learned loads about myself, that has only made me a better person. God has helped me through it all.
In about 2 hours I'll continue my journey to Hawaii. I figured I'd take a break and sit at the terminal to settle for some time. I think I'll go get a bagel. I hope to update tomorrow :)
peace :)

oh and here's a pretty neato song I heard on the plane that I've liked but totally forgot about.

• Angel by Massive Attack

More Massive Attack music on iLike

on and on and on...

So the past couple weeks have been a blur...getting ready for Hawaii and all. Also my sister is headed out to mexico for a couple weeks so the whole family has been enjoying the last few precious moments we have together till next year. Its a bit bittersweet that for sure. I am uber excited though to go though, I was counting down the days till today but then I forgot in the midst of the rush :P I have no idea what to expect but on the other hand I'm also going there with such an open mind I wont be surprised if I find everything fascinating.
Today the island student missionaries left for their respected countries. They are well on their way to the new journey and I'll definitely be praying for them. :)

On the random note,
I love pandora. I found a neat song yesterday. A bit of what is on my mind :P
Butterfly Bouchet
I Can't Make Me

roughed up and smoothed out

Well...

I never thought I'd be one to blog, but I guess today is the day. I mainly created this in hopes that it could potentially reach someone who is questioning whether or not becoming a missionary is for them. But, also, I'll boldly say that I created it to just get my thoughts out somehwere other than paper, and as of late I could care less if the whole world sees.

So.

This past year has been one heck of a whirlwind for me, a bit good and a bit bad. As for the bad...I can honestly only blame all of it on myself. But, I've learned my lessons to say the very least. A large bit of me wishes that I could go back and smack myself before even putting myself remotely in some situations, but the other part is thankful that I've wised up. I tend to learn things the hard way. The good...well, its been good :) I am so thankful for my family and friends. Sadly, I know I've hurt both, but if it wasn't for me being able to see God through them, and their genuine care for me, I think I'd be just a bit lost at this point in time. Thankfully, God puts people in our lives to help us understand a bit more about Him and the real reason He wants us to all unite in pure brotherhood.

With a bit of maturity and respect, God has helped me to realize that loved ones never mean to hurt but are there to protect and prevent heartache and pain. Sometimes, the view from the outside is much clearer than the view from the inside. 

On April 23 I was baptized, I dedicated my life to God (the most amazing moment of my life, and the most important decision). I was also dedicated to go on a student missions trip where God would lead and I would follow. He is ALWAYS fighting for me, I'll say that much. But, there have been countless times where I have simply made my decision seem in vain. I hate that that has even been the case. For God whose son DIED for me, for me to disrespect Him time and time again. It makes me sick. I don't deserve ANYTHING but HE gave EVERYTHING to me so that one day, I'd surrender it all and put my foolishness aside. Nothing should be between us. However, somehow between then and now I've fallen by the wayside, but I'm picking up speed again and it's all in wisdom that I hope not to slip as much as I have these past few months ever again.

My journey:

On August 11 at 10:50 A.M. I'll board Delta Airlines Flight 2929 (hence the title of the blog) for Honolulu, Hawaii. Vacation? Nope. I am going to live and work at a small elementary school as a P.E. teacher, lunch lady :P, and aide, as a task force worker through Southern Adventist University. I am very excited, yet nervous to go. I have no idea what lies ahead of me, but I know He's on my side and I have no reason to really worry unless I start letting SELF take over. If that's the case...I don't think I'll have much of a testimony after it all.

Back in January, I decided to give a year of my life doing something for others rather than myself for once. My best friend and I stood up during the altarcall and made more or less a public decision that nothing else matters except what we can do for God. During that time I was in the process of deciding whether to study abroad or serve. Clearly the latter resulted. The past school year was rough. Luckily I had my friends but I don't believe even they knew the inner battles I was fighting with myself. Once I realized that all I needed to do was step back and pray, things became much easier. I'm human, so there will always be ups and downs, I know. But, with God, I am still going to try to be the best I can be. I realize as a teacher, my students will see me as an example. I know it is only P.E. but I feel that anyone can have an influence on someone if they are passionate about what really matters to them in life. When the call for the elementary school came through, I truly felt like it was an answered prayer. My parents strongly urged that I stay in the states if I was going anywhere, and although I contested, the more HMA seemed to be the call. Finally in June with plenty of back and forth with q's and a's with the principal, I was offered the job. I gladly accepted realizing that no matter where I go, I'm out to serve and to make an impact on the community of which I am a guest in. I'm even happier that I am P.E. teacher because I believe strongly in living a healthy lifestyle, and I feel that if I am able to show my students the severity of the decision to lead a healthier life (spiritually, physically, healthfully), then I will have accomplished my mission. So, now my plane tickets have been purchased and I'm about 2ish weeks from the departure date, I already have two massive suitcases packed. I really am trying to narrow it down though, I promise :).

I've got pretty much all I need packed, yesterday I was able to get a new pair of runners (I ran my last ones out :(). So, I can continue doing that, thankfully. That's one big thing about me lately. I have always made an effort to work out at least 3 times a week, but lately, I've upped that to the extreme. My family says I'm over doing it, but I just say I'm training for a marathon. I plan to run in one before I turn 22. Eating habits and all. I can say I have a pretty strict regimen. But, with my sister's help, I can say I'm proud of my family (we both got the parentals working out too). I just hope I can keep it up while I'm in Hawaii. I feel 100 times better now than I did say a couple months ago, health wise. Something about working out and exercise in general makes my day seem much more accomplished. I love the feeling to say the least. I'm not one to follow the line so I'm kind of all over the place when it comes to getting the heart rate up. If its around the track, I'll probably throw in a few cartwheels, jumping jacks, (if there are bleachers...an attempt at parkouring...look it up if you don't know what that is :P). I recently learned there is a term for the craziness that I do, its called "fartlek." It's sweedish too. Random fact of the day. Anyways, I think this first blog is long enough, I'm off to run :) Hopefully, between now and the next post I can say I ran my first 10 miles!

Here are some pictures of where I'm going:)

The sunset :)

A bromeliad - God is amazing!

lovely...

peace :)